Toddler Survival

I thought, you may enjoy some excerpts from my blog (or not):

Did somebody slip extasy into my daughter’s milk?

First of all, I admire all women who stay at home with young children and manage not to go insane.
I think, I would have to be placed on suicide-watch if I had to do this (stay home with two young ones) all day, every day of the year.

I wonder, how 2-year-olds make it to their third birthday, at all. I mean, we can't expect every parent to be knowledgeable, reasonable, well-read or somewhat controlled. Not that I am any or all of that but maybe, at least, some of it. How did toddlers survive in medieval times? How do they survive with someone who has no understanding of a child at this age? -- I mean, at the moment, I just want to beat her all day and if I didn't know better I probably would. She is driving me up the wall and only a mother will understand. Now I FINALLY understand the outbursts of my mom. The few ones she had when I was around Maia's age and which I never forgot. A slap in the face, a time-out in the boiler-room, a good shaking in search for any sense in me. Don't get me wrong, these were exceptions to the rule. I was actually raised laissez-faire with very little corporal punishment, however, I remember these few moments like yesterday (although, this saying isn't to be taken literally, for I don't reallly remember what the hell I actually did yesterday).

Because of the impact these forceful actions had on me, I am being very careful (and very grown-up, although, I don't want to be) in order to avoid any traumatic experiences for Maia. But I'm a ticking time-bomb so sooner or later, I'm going to give her that moment of shameful weakness of mine....in which I will probably tell her something really mean or so... and she'll remember it forever.


Toddlers. Keeping you on the edge

Maia might only be two years old but she has the power to bring me to the edge like no other. It's always a different edge, though. Sometimes it's embarrassment, sometimes fear or sheer terror, sometimes frustration, and sometimes laughter that makes you wanna pee in your pants.

                                                                  Yesterday it was the edge of fear for me.

Wave Hill Pond
[photo by TripAdvisor Member]

We went to Wave Hill (nice little estate nearby, in the Bronx, open to the public). Anyway, we went up to the little fish pond. A very dark pond full of water-plants and gold-fish. Maia insisted on kneeling on the edge to dip her hands into the water. I figured, ok, no problem, I keep an eye on her. If she tumbles I'll catch her. I'm prepared. Of course, Maia waited with her clumsy little self until I had my hands full, helping D with the baby. And so, at that very moment, in which D and I both were holding the baby, Maia fell head forward into the deep pond. My reaction was delayed, for I had to make sure D had Nayla securely. It was only a second, but enough for Maia to be completely submerged in the black water, making it difficult for me to get a quick and good grip on her. Poor thing was under water for a good 10-15 seconds until I finally was able to get her out. She took a moment to catch a breath and then broke into tears. My knees were bloody, for I had thrown myself onto the ground with just a skirt on. Thankfully, I was able to make her laugh it off, although terror was thriving inside of me. All the what-ifs were twirling around in my head...This is actually one of the big fears of mine...involving my kids, still so little. Pools, car-accidents, and for some reason...kidnappings, although, those appear to be statistically highly improbable.
Probable or not - those fears all give me nightmares.

Well, let me jot down a few funny episodes as not to depress myself....

We went to the pharmacy and as we are standing in line I explain to Maia that I need to get cream for Nayla's thrush. Maia looks at me with determination and explains at the top of her lungs. "Mami, I need to get cream, too!" She turns around bends over and points directly to her tush "...for my BUTTHOLE." ...
I was a bit in shock. Once again, I found myself confronted with the teachings of D to my little daughter. ...butthole... who says that?!...

A worse anecdote related to his teachings, however, is when we (Maia and I) went to the store a few days ago and as she is sitting in the shopping cart she lifts her behind halfway in the air and lets one rip so loud (and adult-sounding) that everyone around us just turned their heads in shock.
A frightening moment of silence....everyone thinking that was me.... me not being able to blame it on Maia, for that would just sound childish and unbelievable .... and then, thank GOD, ...she calls out proudly : " MAMIII, I passed GAS! :D"


One more detail before I finish this entry:

You’ve started abbreviating everyone’s name for a while. You call Daddy - Dad , me – Mom and your babysitter Nancy – Nance.  ;)